Happy New Year!

With 2010 drawing to a close and 2011 here, time seems to be moving faster than ever!

Typically, I'm not one for new year's resolutions. This year, however, the new year has me thinking about what I want to do with my time here on Earth. I suppose it was just good timing, because I was thinking this way anyhow, but the new year makes it a trend.

At the risk of sounding cliche I have been pondering to myself "why are we here?". Not in an attempt to ask that question again, but because I'm thinking on a somewhat spiritual, goal-oriented level. If I died tomorrow, what could I do today to make myself proud of who I chose to be?

Personally, I feel our purpose as humans is to somehow enhance the world. To make it a better place, for either our human race or other living things, and to leave positive impacts in the geological record. What? Can that be done? I'm not sure, but that was just a good ending to my list. We humans are very egocentric, and while we certainly have negative impacts on the geological record, I don't know if we can have necessarily "positive" ones. Sounds like a good debate for this semester.

For myself, I hope to raise a strong family, and instill in my child(ren) values and skills that will allow him (them) to do the same. Though I don't believe procreating is our sole purpose. I do think that those who don't have children are just as valuable to the history of humanity and our purpose here on Earth. There are other ways to enhance the world than just procreating. Helping causes for the environment, human or animal rights, or simply by inventing things, innovating newer ways to do things, or building infrastructure are all ways that humans can take part in our purpose. If, that is, I am correct in our purpose.

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So back to my thoughts on "who I choose to be"...I want to be a great cook, have a clean home, a strong career, and be an involved, devoted mother. In some ways, I already have achieved these things. But I can always do more.

I have this procrastination about me. In my classes I seem to think that "I'll learn that later" and put things aside. In my goals for cooking, I seem to think it will just come eventually. In the clean home aspect, I seem to be the same way...I'll do a little here and there but intermittently enough that it doesn't seem to make a difference.

To change this, I've started to "carpe diem" and do it. Now. I have to do these things NOW to be the person I want to be, NOW. I am creating meal plans, making myself DO IT and cook. Have dinner planned, so that at 6:30pm I'm not frustrated (again) with a hungry family and no idea what to make.
I want to volunteer at the elementary school-reliably. I have to DO IT. Like it's a job, that can't be missed. Not if I'm tired. Not if there's laundry to be done. Not if there's snow on the ground. DO IT.

Now, don't get me wrong. I do cut myself a break here and there. I'm trying not to stress over things too much, but I have to start somewhere with these goals and the image of myself. I have to make myself do these things now or I'll spend the rest of my life waiting, wondering where the time went. I do sit here on the computer some each day, but less than I used to. I'm out living my life that I want to write about on here, instead of looking at things I could be doing, I'm doing them. To some extent. There's always something else, always somewhere else to go, something else to make, etc. And that's ok. It's all about priorities.

So, this new year, I'm not so much making "resolutions" as envisioning a whole package of who I want to be, through what I choose to do with my time. I won't make it there by 2012, 2015, or 2020  I don't think, because I'll always be evolving. My goals will change. My interests will change. But no matter what happens, I hope to leave a positive impact, through my child(ren), through my career, through my friends. And ultimately this happens through my choices.

What will you choose to do today?